The Post in Which I Get All Political and Self-Serving

I've been asked to contribute to MOMocrats, the moms-for-Edwards website. I'm proud and happy to be part of such a great cause, working with brilliant and articulate women who have a lot to say. Check us out!

I truly believed that John Edwards would be a different kind of president - the kind who does what he says, says what he means, and means to get this country moving in the right direction. I am crushed that he has stepped aside, though I knew from the beginning that I was backing an underdog. But one of the positive things to come out of John Edwards' campaign suspension is my renewed zeal for getting the person who can do the most for our country elected. Which is why my post "The Feminist Vote - Why Hillary Rodham Clinton Won't Get Mine" is live for the world to see.

I was an early Obama supporter, until I started paying close attention to John Edwards' message. Everything he said made perfect sense to me, but most especially his commitment to end poverty and the corporate takeover of our government, and reengage with the global community on a cooperative level. I hope that Barak Obama takes notice of the chords that John Edwards struck with the people of this country, those of us who really do want things to change. And I hope he makes good on his promises, like I know Edwards would have. We'll see.

You Want To Know How I Know My Kids' Brains Have Been Disneyfied?

Because as I was getting out of the shower a few days ago, Hazel asked:

"Mom... how come Tinkerbell's boobs point up... and yours... don't?"

Um, because I nursed you and your sister for almost two years - each!?

Yeah. You're welcome.

Holiday Thoughts

I spent yesterday afternoon shopping for Christmas presents online, and all I can say is "what did we ever do before Amazon?" Good lord, it was easy. No crowds, no lines, no confusion; just type, click, buy. Almost pleasant, actually, as far as shopping goes.

When I was done, I took a few minutes to bask in the glow of being able to buy exactly what I wanted for the girls and our family, without worrying about whether or not we could afford it. I didn't get extravagant - our Christmas gifts are pretty low-key - but the very act of buying things always reminds me of how blessed we are to be able to buy non-essentials comfortably. It is a luxury that I am aware of, and grateful for.

In that spirit, I am trying to be mindful of balancing all the girls' talk about receiving presents with talk about giving wholeheartedly, and being thankful for the many good things we already have in our lives. My local hair salon is doing a toy drive, and this Saturday Hazel and I will be taking a Dora sleeping bag in for a little girl who requested it for Christmas. Then we'll be taking a trip to Second Harvest food bank to make a donation there, and finally, we'll be taking some toys and clothes to the local women's shelter. I wish I was better about making donations and spending time at our local food bank and shelter year-round; we do it occasionally, maybe two or three times each year, but still... if I was the kind of person who made New Year's resolutions, making more time for giving back to our community would be mine this year.

I went ahead and made a "wish list" for myself as I was finishing up my online shopping yesterday, but it occurred to me later in the day, as I was putting away the week's groceries, that what I already have is more than enough: a home, a full fridge, a healthy and happy family - and more! No box under the tree can compete with that.

Project Life Change: I Didn't Fail as Miserably as You Thought I Did!

Although I completely and utterly ignored my own sincere pledge to update this blog more, I actually did accomplish the other goals I set for myself under the mantle of Project Life Change. Yeah, me!

Change #1 (sign Haze up for a class she'll enjoy) sort of backfired on me, so I crossed that off the list (N/A). I've blogged a little bit on the topic of Hazel's sensitive nature, which is a big part of our family dynamic, without going into too much detail about how it effects her as an independent person, or as a social being. The reason for that is simple: I don't feel that it's my right to go into the specifics of the how/when/why aspects of what it's like to live with a highly-sensitive, slow-to-adapt kid. Especially a kid who's learning to read, and probably wouldn't appreciate a mother who spills her personal beans all over the interwebs on a regular basis. Suffice it to say, Hazel didn't want to participate in the gymnastics class I signed her up for. My perception of "why" is that having to be "on" in kindergarten 5 days/week, every week, is enough activity for Hazel right now. Totally understandable. She expressed some interest in doing a class with Violet, so I'm looking into mixed age art classes for both of them.

Change #2 (sign Violet up for a class she'll enjoy) was a piece of cake. The local community center as a fabulous, age-appropriate gymnastics class that Violet adores. I've tried unsuccessfully to take posterity pictures of her during class, but it's impossible: she's a dervish, running from trampoline to rock-climbing wall to uneven bars, and I can't get her to slow down long enough to take a picture that looks like something besides blur of cuteness. Big bonus: naps are back! Thanks, gymnastics!

Change #3 (spend less time sneaking over to check email/feeds during the day) was also no sweat. I let my editor at Strollerderby know that I needed to slow down on my posting over there, and we worked out a compromise that resulted in me taking on weekend duty for S.D. A few posts spread out over the weekend, plus 1 or 2 during the week is much more manageable for me, and makes my weekdays feel more open and free. A welcome change that was easy to pull off, thanks to my awesome SD coworkers and editors.

Change #4 (complete tasks around the house regularly) resulted in us painting and setting up the garage/craftroom for general use! Still a few minor tasks to be done in there (installing shelving, freecycling old computer, hanging bikes from celing hooks), but nothing major. Next up: planting the winter garden!

Change #5 (update the blog weekly) is really the only play I dropped the ball on. I've been in decompression mode since scaling back on SD, and have been ignoring my computer almost entirely. It's been so nice! But I've missed blogging here, which is perhaps good: missing out is a big motivator for me.

Four out of 5 "life changes" accomplished. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Project Life Change: Stop Being So Lazy, Alisyn.

My good friend Stefania has sent out a call, to mobilize and motivate people across the blogosphere to make the changes in their lives that they need to make - now. No more excuses. I really like this idea.

For me, participating in Project Life Change isn't about doing a major overhaul, or making drastic changes in my life. It's about taking responsibility for the little things that I keep saying I need to do, or want to do, but don't. Allow me to elaborate.

I am, by nature, kind of a hermit. I like puttering around my house, gardening, reading, drinking tea. I like laying on the floor reading to the girls, making furniture forts with them, doing puzzles. I derive most of my strength and pleasure from being in the comfort zone I've created for our family. I am comfortable in social situations - I like people, am good at making friends, and am probably considered pretty outgoing by people who know me. But I am one of those rare outgoing-yet-introverted hybrids, and often, I get stuck in my comfort zone, when I should be out and about.

Hazel is a lot like me, in that she prefers to operate in her comfort zone, with people she knows well. But as she gets more comfortable in kindergarten, she's making more friends, and starting to show an interest in seeing them outside of the classroom. She's been coming out of her little shell, and I think she's reached the point where she can handle something like a ballet class, or a cooking class, some kind of outside-the-home-activity that is just for her, without getting too nervous. l may have to push her a little at first, because she really hates being dropped off anywhere, but once she gets into the swing of things, I think she'll be great.
Change #1 - sign Hazel up for a class she'll enjoy. Stop thinking about it, and just do it.

Violet is not like Hazel and I. I'm not sure if it's her age (2.5), or her personality - it's probably 50/50 - but she is not a homebody the way we are. She likes to be on the move, on the go, doing, doing, doing. She gets bored with all the drawing and reading and lazing about that we do a lot of at home, and tends to act out when she's feeling frustrated. She's also decided that unless she's in the stroller or the car, she's not napping anymore, so she's extra tired and grumpy in the afternoons. Signing Violet up for a toddler class - I'm thinking gymnastics - will be good for her soul. Not only will she be around kids her own age, she'll also get some of her energy out, and hopefully, nap a little more readily.
Change #2 - sign Violet up for a class she'll enjoy. Stop thinking about it, and just do it.

A major contribution to my hermitude is the fact that I work from home. And my job involves constantly checking my email, scanning developing news, and keeping in contact with my coworkers at StrollerDerby. I am incessantly flipping my computer open, and getting sucked into the vacuum of the virtual world. My girls notice this. And they don't love it. Even though I'm in the room with them, I'm not there, I'm not paying attention to them and we're not making eye contact. I notice it too, and I feel guilty about it, but I do it anyway. There's no way to avoid getting online throughout the day - it's part of my job, and it's how I stay connected with many of my friends. But I'm going to attempt to schedule my days better, so that I have a window of time open specifically for being online, rather than just stolen moments here and there.
Change #3 - schedule a couple of chunks of time during the day for checking email, etc., and only open the computer during those times.

When Mike and I decided to stay in California indefinitely, we outlined a plan for making our tiny little house a little more livable. We re-landscaped our front and back yards to maximize play space for the girls, and are in the process of converting our garage into an office/playroom. We have a lot of little things that we need to get done around the house, and have made a list of everything we plan on completing by the New Year.
Change #4 - cross one thing off that list every weekend, no exceptions.

And lastly, I want to commit to this blog more. It's been so neglected. I don't do baby books for the girls, though we do take a lot of pictures. This blog is our main childhood archive for Hazel and Violet, and so I vow to post at least once a week.
Change #5 - update the blog (at least) once every week.

I think that about covers it. Not a bunch of crazy deadlines, but enough to keep me busy and get me better organized. Hopefully. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

Hazel's New Joke

You wanna hear it? Sure you do.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Mickey Mouse."

"Mickey Mouse who?"

"MICKEY MOUSE'S SCROTUM!!!!! HAAAAHAHAA!!!!"

Hazel's on to what Mickey's hiding in those sexy little red shorts, and she wants the world to know it, too. Between her and Violet, I'm lucky if I make it to 7:30 a.m. before hearing the words penis, scrotum, vulva, ovaries, anus or boobs, haahahahaahahahaa!!!!

Yesterday at the park, some old dude giggled under his breath when Hazel enlisted Molly's help in telling the "Mickey Mouse's PENIS!! HAHAHAHAHHA!" version of the joke, and I had to laugh too.

What else can I do? They are funny.

Bathing Suit (A Happy Post)

I've had bathing suits on the brain lately. It's about to get hot, and I plan on spending a large part of the coming summer in the water: at the toddler pool, at swimming lessons, at the beach. So I've been assessing my options.

I've been salivating over this suit for a couple of months now. It's sexy and sassy and it's the kind of suit that makes a woman wish she had the curves to fill it out (I am fortunate in that department). But I just can not bring myself to pay $100 (with shipping) for it. I realize that this is the going rate for a suit not purchased Target, Old Navy or the Gap, but I am just too inherently cheap and guilty to pay that. I could get suits for the whole family with $100! God, I sound just like my mother. (No offense, Mom. You know what I mean). I've been scoping out Ebay and local vintage clothing shops for something similar, but haven't had much luck.

So, you can imagine my surprise when I walked into Marshall's on a bra run, and ran smack into a black, halter neck, retro-flavored skirted suit in my size. I grabbed a few of the other 1-piece options for good measure, along with my bra selection, and headed for the fitting room.

For the first time since puberty, I tried on a bathing suit, and I smiled. That's how awesome this suit is. The halter top is flattering and supportive, the little skirt is flirty and hides a multitude of sins, and the overall look is '50s and fun. Exactly what I was looking for. That never happens!

I am always afraid of looking matronly in bathing suits, (why do bathing suit designers assume that only grandmothers want 1-pieces?) and have always avoided the skirted kind for that reason alone. But this suit has nary a whiff of mothballs, and I figure the tattoos help in that department, too.

So, I am positively giddy over my $40 Marshall's windfall. I guess I have to stop talking shit about the place, now. I wish you the same luck on your bathing suit quest this year, because every woman deserves to smile in the fitting room.