Violet in the Bathroom

V: "When I grow up I want to be a mama."

Mike: "Maybe you could be a German teacher."

V: "Maybe I could be a Hello Kitty teacher!"

Hey, it's as good a place as any to plan for the future. With her rampant use of toilet paper and excessive flushing, she's certainly not cut out for environmentalism or plumbing, so it's good she's exploring other options.

Project Life Change: Stop Being So Lazy, Alisyn.

My good friend Stefania has sent out a call, to mobilize and motivate people across the blogosphere to make the changes in their lives that they need to make - now. No more excuses. I really like this idea.

For me, participating in Project Life Change isn't about doing a major overhaul, or making drastic changes in my life. It's about taking responsibility for the little things that I keep saying I need to do, or want to do, but don't. Allow me to elaborate.

I am, by nature, kind of a hermit. I like puttering around my house, gardening, reading, drinking tea. I like laying on the floor reading to the girls, making furniture forts with them, doing puzzles. I derive most of my strength and pleasure from being in the comfort zone I've created for our family. I am comfortable in social situations - I like people, am good at making friends, and am probably considered pretty outgoing by people who know me. But I am one of those rare outgoing-yet-introverted hybrids, and often, I get stuck in my comfort zone, when I should be out and about.

Hazel is a lot like me, in that she prefers to operate in her comfort zone, with people she knows well. But as she gets more comfortable in kindergarten, she's making more friends, and starting to show an interest in seeing them outside of the classroom. She's been coming out of her little shell, and I think she's reached the point where she can handle something like a ballet class, or a cooking class, some kind of outside-the-home-activity that is just for her, without getting too nervous. l may have to push her a little at first, because she really hates being dropped off anywhere, but once she gets into the swing of things, I think she'll be great.
Change #1 - sign Hazel up for a class she'll enjoy. Stop thinking about it, and just do it.

Violet is not like Hazel and I. I'm not sure if it's her age (2.5), or her personality - it's probably 50/50 - but she is not a homebody the way we are. She likes to be on the move, on the go, doing, doing, doing. She gets bored with all the drawing and reading and lazing about that we do a lot of at home, and tends to act out when she's feeling frustrated. She's also decided that unless she's in the stroller or the car, she's not napping anymore, so she's extra tired and grumpy in the afternoons. Signing Violet up for a toddler class - I'm thinking gymnastics - will be good for her soul. Not only will she be around kids her own age, she'll also get some of her energy out, and hopefully, nap a little more readily.
Change #2 - sign Violet up for a class she'll enjoy. Stop thinking about it, and just do it.

A major contribution to my hermitude is the fact that I work from home. And my job involves constantly checking my email, scanning developing news, and keeping in contact with my coworkers at StrollerDerby. I am incessantly flipping my computer open, and getting sucked into the vacuum of the virtual world. My girls notice this. And they don't love it. Even though I'm in the room with them, I'm not there, I'm not paying attention to them and we're not making eye contact. I notice it too, and I feel guilty about it, but I do it anyway. There's no way to avoid getting online throughout the day - it's part of my job, and it's how I stay connected with many of my friends. But I'm going to attempt to schedule my days better, so that I have a window of time open specifically for being online, rather than just stolen moments here and there.
Change #3 - schedule a couple of chunks of time during the day for checking email, etc., and only open the computer during those times.

When Mike and I decided to stay in California indefinitely, we outlined a plan for making our tiny little house a little more livable. We re-landscaped our front and back yards to maximize play space for the girls, and are in the process of converting our garage into an office/playroom. We have a lot of little things that we need to get done around the house, and have made a list of everything we plan on completing by the New Year.
Change #4 - cross one thing off that list every weekend, no exceptions.

And lastly, I want to commit to this blog more. It's been so neglected. I don't do baby books for the girls, though we do take a lot of pictures. This blog is our main childhood archive for Hazel and Violet, and so I vow to post at least once a week.
Change #5 - update the blog (at least) once every week.

I think that about covers it. Not a bunch of crazy deadlines, but enough to keep me busy and get me better organized. Hopefully. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

A Summer of Firsts

I took the summer off, as it turns out. And now that it's over, I've come to realize that it was a monumental season. The girls have grown and changed so much in the last couple of months. It's been the 3 of us at home together all summer, which I thought was going to be a nightmare, but actually, ended up being kind of fun. Most days. A recap:

First Bee Stings: Hazel was running through the grass barefoot when she stepped on a bee and let us all know it by screaming bloody murder. About six weeks later, Violet did the exact same thing. So did I, about 25 years ago.

First Babysitter: What the effin' eff took me so long? Sara'i is the girls' new favorite person - she does their hair, she paints their nails, and she lays on the top bunk with Hazel til she's asleep. Hazel says, "Mama, sometimes I wish Sara'i could be our Mama, and you could just come sometimes." Awwwwww.

First Funeral: A milestone, to be sure. Hazel was relieved to know that Great Uncle Frank would not be a skeleton for a very, very long time.

First Over Nighter: The girls and I took a 2 week vacation to SoCal, at the end of which, Haze decided that she wanted some "alone time" with her grandparents, great grandparents, uncles and auntie, so she stayed behind, while Vi and I had some alone time of our own. Three days, and I missed her.

First New Bike: The last new bike I can remember having was metallic navy blue with a banana seat and those little beads that make noise in the spokes. It may or may not have had pegs. My new new bike - the first I've purchased - is white, with pink walled tires and silver and pink flames. She is called "The Betty." She is one sweet ride, and I'm addicted to her.

First Garden: We totally re-landscaped our back yard, with the help of my brothers, and not only do we have flowers and shrubs and a gorgeous new emerald green lawn, we also have a planter box. Growing happily in that box are two kinds of lettuce, tomatoes, broccoli, lemons, carrots, cucumbers, green beans, zucchini and herbs. The girls and I water, weed and talk to our plants, and they love us for it. Hazel snacks on cilantro that she picks herself. Violet strokes the baby cucumbers lovingly.

First Day of School: Hazel started kindergarten last week. Let me repeat that: Hazel started kindergarten last week. It simply blows my mind. She has made the smoothest transition possible, from going to preschool with friends she's know her whole life, to going to real school, alone. All day. And loving it! My heart is bursting with pride and love for my big, brave, smart, wonderful girl.

First Day of Daycare: Violet calls it "preschool." I call it "sanity saver." It starts tomorrow. I'll keep you posted.

First Bunk Bed: It's from Ikea, it was a free hand-me-down, and the novelty of the slide has yet to wear off. Priceless.

First Friends: The girls really turned a corner this summer, and went from barely tolerating each other, to actually liking each other. They can, and sometimes do, play together for hours at a time. They still get impatient with each other, and they get on each other's nerves, but for they also share, joke, help and giggle a lot. They play mama-and-baby, doggy-and-person, doctor-and-patient (guess which is which?); they play hide and seek in the backyard; Hazel makes tiny bird eggs out of clay and Violet smashes them gleefully, one by one. Nothing makes me happier than seeing the two of them conspiring against me, or helping each other, or cuddling on the couch, picking each other's noses.

If I had to sum up the summer quickly, I'd say it was long, hot, and a lot of fun. Not necessarily in that order. Check out the updated pictures!

'Mell My Winger

Here's one for the baby book.

Violet's new favorite game to play? 'Mell My Winger. Otherwise known as "Smell My Finger," a game that, though highly inappropriate and totally gross, fascinates and delights her. Endlessly.

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In the car, on the way to pick up Hazel from preschool:

"Mama? You 'mell my winger?"

"No, Violet. That's rude."

"You 'mell it, Mama? It 'mell like my BUTT!"


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In the car, on the way home from picking up Hazel:

"Hazel! 'Mell my winger!"

"Okay!... EWWWWWW!" (Falls for it every time, agrees that this game is hilarous).

"It 'mell like my ba-dinah!"

"Yeah! It does... hey Violet, say 'vulva.'"

"Wul-wa."

"Mama! Violet's talking about her private parts not in private!"

(Guess who's really into the "All About My Body" book?)

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Now that she is wearing underwear during the day, access to her girly parts is free and unlimited. There's a lot of, um, exploring going on. Especially in the car, where there's not much else to do. We've had the "private parts" talk, but that means absolutely nothing to her. She's going through her naked phase, and discovering her body, and I'm cool with that. I get it. But it's startling, and not a little off putting, to look over my shoulder while changing lanes, and see Violet mining for gold down there.

It's a good thing she doesn't wear rings. It's also a good thing that my car's windows are tinted dark black; if people could see what was going on in the backseat, they would.... well, they would change lanes, at the very least.

To Violet, On Her 2nd Birthday

Dear Violet,

Today you are two! TWO!!

When someone asks you how old you are, you hold up five fingers and shout "two!" Then you whisper, "I eat marshmallows!" That's all you want for your birthday: Marshmallows. And I can't wait to give them to you.

The day you were born, it was sunny and gorgeous, just like today. I told you that two years ago to the day, you

came out of Mama's belly, a tiny, black-haired little squiggle. And you said, "Noooo - I not a squiggle! I Violet!"

And we laughed about that.
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It is two days past your actual birthday now, Sunday evening. We had all our friends, plus grandparents, uncles, and aunties over for a celebration. You ate your weight in marshmallows. You were a kind and flirty hostess, and you had a great time.

I want to thank you for being so sweet-natured, Violet. Your even-keeled temperament and generous disposition are by far your best qualities (and you have a lot wonderful qualities) - they stand out, even to strangers. Thank you for welcoming all your friends and family into our house with a smile, and sharing all of your new birthday toys without even getting a chance to play with them. Thank you for letting Hazel help you with the wrapping paper. Thank you for being you.

The last few months have been a time of great change - before our eyes, you have become a bonafide kid. You speak in 10 and 12 word sentences now, run like the wind, and have no fear. No fear. You stomp around the house singing "OOOOhhhhh, the life of a pirate for me!" and are happy to play Captain Hook to Hazel's Peter Pan. You read quietly in the corner. You sleep peacefully with your beloved polka dot blankie jammed in your nose , and when you wake up, you beam like the sun. You want to swing "supah high!" at the park. You want to go to preschool with Hazel. You are in love with Wallie. You count to 20 and you sing your ABCs. You love Diego and the Little Einsteins. You love to help me make dinner. You finger paint like a badass. I am amazed by all the things you can do.

It's hard not to think of you as my baby, even though you went so far as to potty train yourself last week, just to prove your independence. "I no want weah dipuh," you announced, after using the potty for the first time on Thursday. So you just... stopped peeing in a diaper. And by Friday, we were taking you around town with no diaper, and no accidents. Who does that?!? We've pumped about a pound of marshmallows in you to as "incentive," but you don't need them. Cuz you're awesome.

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It is now Monday night. Three days have passed since your birthday, and I am just now getting around to writing about it. I'm sorry, Vi. Sometimes things slip through the cracks, and you don't get the attention I'd like to give you - even on this blog. But I love you so very, very much, and feel so blessed and lucky to have a daughter like you - so peaceful and funny and smart and sassy. I am grateful for you, and unconditional the love you've brought to our family, especially your love for your big sister. You care for Hazel in a way that is miraculous to me, and I thank you for that, Violet. It means more to me than you will ever know. Seeing you imitate her, be patient with her, hang on her every word, and share your treasures with her, melts my heart. Seeing you two girls scheme and giggle and shriek makes me think that I must be doing something right.

Happy Birthday, Violet, and many more to come. Dada, Hazel and I love you so very much; more than you love marshmallows! And that's a lot.

Love,
Mama