Don't Leave Violet Alone With Your Blueberry Muffin

She will slowly make her way over to it, her sing-songy sweet nothings becoming louder and more excited as she creeps over, tiny hands slapping the top of the coffee table, tiny feet moving faster and faster. Grunting her approval of your muffin as she examines it on the plastic Ikea plate that you neglected to push to the center of the table, she will hesitate only a split second, before cramming the entire thing into her mouth. Fear not! Violet never chokes - waste not, want not is her motto. She will suck on your muffin for a second or two, before spitting it onto the carpet. She will then proceed to smash it gleefully, the wet, spongey crumbs coating her hands as she shovels the now bite-sized morsels into her mouth, again and again. She will devour every last bit, including the paper, and that which somehow eludes her ravenous mouth will be languishing in her nose, ears, hair and neck folds until you reclaim what's left of your muffin at bathtime.